In one of her books, Madeline L’Engle recounted a story she had heard: “Someone tells me of a story of a bishop who lost his wife and child in a tragic accident.  And he said to his people, ‘I have been all the way to the bottom.  And it is solid.'” I too have found that to be true—for the most part. Like Flannery O’Connor once wrote, “I can, with one eye squinted, take it all as a blessing.”

 

Word keeper, mother, observer, sacred eavesdropper, close-reader, wounded healer, beauty-finder, skeptic, and trying to put all that into words. Lover of libraries, crepuscular rays, murmurations, etymology, flowers and dachshunds in sweaters; the scents of lavender, coffee, and books. An anglophile whose favorite writing accoutrements are a cup of PG Tips and digestives with dark chocolate.

Published Works

DEAR AUDREY 

After my 33-year-old husband, a well-known rock cellist, drowned in Lake Geneva, Switzerland while touring with singer Regina Spektor, I found myself searching for meaning in the intersection of fresh widowhood and young motherhood. I documented both at Dear Audrey.

A Very Long Morning

This morning consisted of poop on the rug and some in the potty, our Monday walk by the river, and a bumped head after we got back home- which required the "cat" ice pack and a yellow lollipop in order to get A. to sit still while I iced it.  I am tired.When we...

Holiday

This holiday weekend snuck up on me.  I didn't realize the double effect it would have of being a "holiday" weekend and also the anniversary of the day we met.It's not like "the holidays" that everyone warns you about.  But I've found it to be much worse-...

New Year

I think a lot about time travel.Last night I watch a Steven Hawking documentary on time travel and worm holes- the tiny holes that actually do exist in the dimension of time- through which we could conceivably travel if they were enlarged thousands of times....

The Living

I'm nearing six months- and a new low.I notice if I tell someone what is now "my story"- that my husband is tragically dead- I always say the same thing, that you died "a few months ago."  It's almost six months, but I'm afraid even when it's a year or more, I'll...

Friday Morning

Audrey's had a runny nose since a couple of days after her flu shot and was running a high fever last night. I missed your presence so much caring for her. She was up just once at 2:30 am. This morning we had no plans.   I decided we'd just go to Barnes and...

Displaced

Now there is the feeling of double displacement.  At home, I am always trying to figure out where I am and what's happened.  But at least I can look around and have that strange sense of being in a place that was formerly where we lived together.  Now I...

The Stone Pillow

Two analogies for how it is now:It is just a little bit like when you're driving someplace you go often and you don't need to concentrate on the roads you take and turns you make.  You drive unconsciously until that moment when you look around and say, "Wait,...

Scrap of Fabric

When we endured the horrible nightmare of finding our Brooklyn building infested with bed bugs the week we brought Audrey home from the hospital- we left everything we owned- all of our furniture, everything we'd prepared for Audrey's arrival- behind.  But we...

Sundown

Today I am depleted.The week rounded out with two tantrums- one at the dentist on the day of the Nor'easter (we left the office without having her teeth cleaned after two hours there) - the other, today while I was driving. Each night this week I've dreamt of you....

Tribute

This is what I read at your funeral Dan. I wasn't even aware that a bunch of people were listening. It was and remains from me to you:dear daniel, I feel as though I've been watching you go away for a large part of our relationship- on buses and trains while we dated,...

Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.

Frederick Buechner

This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: No feed found.

Please go to the Instagram Feed settings page to create a feed.