In one of her books, Madeline L’Engle recounted a story she had heard: “Someone tells me of a story of a bishop who lost his wife and child in a tragic accident.  And he said to his people, ‘I have been all the way to the bottom.  And it is solid.'” I too have found that to be true—for the most part. Like Flannery O’Connor once wrote, “I can, with one eye squinted, take it all as a blessing.”

 

Word keeper, mother, observer, sacred eavesdropper, close-reader, wounded healer, beauty-finder, skeptic, and trying to put all that into words. Lover of libraries, crepuscular rays, murmurations, etymology, flowers and dachshunds in sweaters; the scents of lavender, coffee, and books. An anglophile whose favorite writing accoutrements are a cup of PG Tips and digestives with dark chocolate.

Published Works

DEAR AUDREY 

After my 33-year-old husband, a well-known rock cellist, drowned in Lake Geneva, Switzerland while touring with singer Regina Spektor, I found myself searching for meaning in the intersection of fresh widowhood and young motherhood. I documented both at Dear Audrey.

July 3, 2010 3 Days Before…

I remember having this small epiphany about my faith in God sometime before you died, but only recently did I discover I had articulated it to you just three days before your tragic death. It seems foreboding and hopeful at once:In an email to you July 3, 2010:"I keep...

April 26, 2010

...I hope your night was ok.  All I can think about is how you and Audreyare doing.  Knowing the guy upstairs keeps making noise and smoking,makes it so difficult for me to relax.I promise we will move out soon.  Maybe moving to/buying a new placeis my...

Your Stuff

Audrey is starting to claim your stuff Dan. So far I showed her your Bible and she has claimed that. "Appa Bi bul" she says, and then "Audrey!" So I told her she can have it now.Once I told her that, she pointed at your computer chair and asked if she could have that...

Tuesday Morning

I feel OK.  When I feel OK it is because I feel proud I am doing this, but also because I've forgotten how very permanent your absence is for a little while.  I don't know how long it will take for that to sink in.  I will never see you again. Every...

9.4.2000

Agnosia

This writing lately is like taking something out of a hot oven with no potholders.  If I leave it in, it will burn, but while I take it out, I get burned.  So, I do it as quickly as possible and cry out as it drops onto the table.Lately there is the feeling...

The Mail

After a birthday party today, I was pretty worn out by late afternoon.In the mail today, an envelope from an old coworker of yours.Inside, a notebook another coworker found when she was cleaning out her desk.  It was yours. In it are a few notes regarding your...

First Valentine’s Day

For our first Valentine's Day you made me a book.  It's in a large spiral with a sturdy front and back.  You usually used a lot office supplies from the temp jobs you had back then to make me these.  So it has that signature quality of office supplies,...

Wordkeeping: Why I Write Here

That's what I like to call writing...wordkeeping.  I guess it's a made-up word. But it's more descriptive of what I've been doing here...keeping and collecting all of the words we wrote to each other.  Because we were both writers, I have so many words....

We Sleep With Your Coat

I just haven't felt like writing lately.  I have a million painful, inarticulate thoughts throughout the day but the idea of translating them into the English language is overwhelming me lately.But I will try...I will force it for a bit tonight because I know...

Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.

Frederick Buechner