In one of her books, Madeline L’Engle recounted a story she had heard: “Someone tells me of a story of a bishop who lost his wife and child in a tragic accident.  And he said to his people, ‘I have been all the way to the bottom.  And it is solid.'” I too have found that to be true—for the most part. Like Flannery O’Connor once wrote, “I can, with one eye squinted, take it all as a blessing.”

 

Word keeper, mother, observer, sacred eavesdropper, close-reader, wounded healer, beauty-finder, skeptic, and trying to put all that into words. Lover of libraries, crepuscular rays, murmurations, etymology, flowers and dachshunds in sweaters; the scents of lavender, coffee, and books. An anglophile whose favorite writing accoutrements are a cup of PG Tips and digestives with dark chocolate.

Published Works

DEAR AUDREY 

After my 33-year-old husband, a well-known rock cellist, drowned in Lake Geneva, Switzerland while touring with singer Regina Spektor, I found myself searching for meaning in the intersection of fresh widowhood and young motherhood. I documented both at Dear Audrey.

Last Summer

"It doesn't seem impossible to turn back six months of time," a friend of yours says to me online while chatting at the six month mark.It doesn't, I agree, because it feels possible to push back and prevent this from happening still.I've been starting to teach Audrey...

Jo Julia

I chose that profile name because 1) Koreans place the last name first, and 2) "Cho" is actually pronounced "Jo" in Korean.Dan hated the English pronunciation of "Cho." He said it sounded so "chinky." He told me how everyone mispronounced it which seemed surprising to...

Steeping

A part of me is still in denial- I realize.Last night I decided the hell with it and got out a new dental floss- and left the old one in the medicine cabinet- I just can't bear to get to the end of that string. I'd told myself I'd leave your clothes and computer -...

Estelle

That was the name you liked for a girl for many years while I knew you, but once I was pregnant, I don't think you really suggested it much anymore. I saw it as an old lady name, but you said it reminded you of pastel- so it sounded creative and colorful. We went to...

The Transition

I wear one of your shirts today- one of three or four I kept in your/my dresser drawer when I packed everything else away.  It's one I always thought looked so nice on you- and like most of your clothes, something you got for a few bucks at a thrift store or flea...

Trying to Make it Stay

There is something in the human spirit- and I'm not sure what it is yet- knowledge of some truth about an end to all of this that will see justice and things made right, or maybe it's just survival of the fittest- evolution's way of keeping us alive even when we feel...

Mothering You

We are running out of the paper towels and toilet paper that you ran to Target for before you left. I've been thinking about this post for a long time.  The grief counselor told me that we grieve the relationship the way it was lived, and in our relationship, I...

Preparation

My counselor had told me a couple of months ago that she believes God prepares our loved ones for their own death when I described some very strange details from the week before you left for Europe.  Some are too intimate to write and I believe were meant just...

494-6039

Who would've thought it would be so hard to say goodbye to a phone number.Just spent a very draining hour and a half transferring my number to your phone and account- and realized, I will never dial that number again- you'd kept that number for probably ten years now....

Ambushed

I remember reading on widow boards that it might not be the holidays or anniversaries you're dreading that get you...you'll have prepared for those emotionally- expecting the pain.  But instead, that the pain would hit you when you least expect it, on the...

Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.

Frederick Buechner

This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: No feed found.

Please go to the Instagram Feed settings page to create a feed.