In one of her books, Madeline L’Engle recounted a story she had heard: “Someone tells me of a story of a bishop who lost his wife and child in a tragic accident.  And he said to his people, ‘I have been all the way to the bottom.  And it is solid.'” I too have found that to be true—for the most part. Like Flannery O’Connor once wrote, “I can, with one eye squinted, take it all as a blessing.”

 

Word keeper, mother, observer, sacred eavesdropper, close-reader, wounded healer, beauty-finder, skeptic, and trying to put all that into words. Lover of libraries, crepuscular rays, murmurations, etymology, flowers and dachshunds in sweaters; the scents of lavender, coffee, and books. An anglophile whose favorite writing accoutrements are a cup of PG Tips and digestives with dark chocolate.

Published Works

DEAR AUDREY 

After my 33-year-old husband, a well-known rock cellist, drowned in Lake Geneva, Switzerland while touring with singer Regina Spektor, I found myself searching for meaning in the intersection of fresh widowhood and young motherhood. I documented both at Dear Audrey.

Beauty cont.

The day after the hurricane, on our way back from the library and playground, the skies in our neighborhood were strikingly beautiful.  Every single cloud in the sky was a weightless wisp.   I have never seen a sky like this in my life.  In the clouds,...

Everybody Knows

I read a very good apologetic by a British theologian a few weeks ago.  It was full of clever, convincing arguments and trains of thoughts, but one sentence in the book struck me more than any other.  A very simple sentence:"Everybody knows that love is the...

Valentine’s Day

I'm glad once again this year that you weren't big on Valentine's Day...that's not to say that I don't have special memories- especially when we were dating- of dinners out in trendy restaurants in NYC, special pieces of jewelry, and my favorite: homemade booklets and...

Tips for Those on the Other Side

I've never had this kind of grief before, so I myself have had no idea what to say to people who are grieving. For example, I once went to the wake of a young woman who had died of cancer and told her husband quietly, "She was really great." Didn't even know her that...

5 Year Anniversary Slideshow

5 Year AnniversaryRemembered I'd made a bunch of slideshows last year including this one. Just sat at your desk watching it, crying a lot. A lot of the photos are inside jokes between the two of us I realize now. No one else will get them. I will love you forever.

Practicing

I practice seeing you...around the apartment- so I don't forget, and also because if I try really hard, it's almost like you're there.  Relief rushes through my body for one moment....

Traveling

The further one climbs up up out of the valley, the more suddenly, treacherously, one plummets with one misstep, after the sun has set and it is harder to see and one is alone with her thoughts.Today while driving Audrey to school, I thought about vacations.  I...

Impasse

It seems I'm at an impasse. Everything is quiet.  No calls, emails, letters.  No extra perception of the invisible- of God or of Dan.So I'm left with this.I echo a question in a book I'm reading written in the 50's by another young widow- "Do widows and...

Cool Places

Seems since I first met you- you were taking me to cool places I never would've gone otherwise. These are just a few that come to the top of my head- I know there were so many more cool things we did. I'd usually feel out of place and not know what to wear- so I'd...

Tributaries and White Carpet

In medias res, I think to myself last night.  This random literary term popping into my head.  In media res- right in the middle.  Milton's Paradise Lost begins in hell for example, after the angels have already fallen.  And that is where we left...

Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.

Frederick Buechner