I’ve already told you what Audrey will know about you.
But I also want you to know that I will try to care for her the way you would’ve wanted me to. I can’t help feeling on a daily basis, even though she’s mine and I carried her in my womb, that I’ve been entrusted with her on your behalf, and that I want to please you with the way I raise her.
I promise you
that she’ll be exposed to lots of different people, things, and places.
I will make sure she listens to good music that you would’ve approved of.
I won’t dress her in tacky clothes or get her ears pierced too early.
She won’t wear a lot of make-up and be a “cake-face” as you called it- even when she’s a teenager.
And I won’t let her pluck her eyebrows so that they’re what you called “angry eyebrows.”
But back to the present since that’s a long way off. I’ll be goofy and silly but not crazy as you called it, with her. We’ll laugh a lot but not the “crazy laugh.”
We’ll visit the city often but not live there. One day I’ll even take her to the places that were special to us- the place we met, fell in love, and got engaged.
I’ll make sure she knows about sports- though I can’t promise I can teach her a whole lot specifically. She’ll hate the Yankees and root for Tottenham.
She’ll be exposed to good movies, comedies and action movies and indie films.
She’ll be kind and polite but we won’t say the word, “Excuse me,” in our house, which you said really translated, “Get the —- out of my way.” (at least in NYC).
She’ll take piano lessons and maybe another instrument, but I won’t force her to practice for four hours a day like you had to. She’ll be allowed to watch cartoons in her pajamas on Saturdays.
She’ll eat kimchi and galbi and sushi too.
And my eyes will always be on her, when we’re at home, in the street, at the playground climbing, or in the swimming pool. I will protect her with everything I have…like any parent knows- I will give my life for her if I have to.
I will always be listening for your voice- what would you say- would you approve, if you were watching- would I do what I’m doing exactly the same…and then, I’ll make the decisions the best that I can- because you are not here, and I am.