Brand New

When Audrey was a newborn, I’d wake up each morning, so surprised and excited that I had a baby, and that there she still was, beside me. I wondered, though, if one day, maybe months, or years from then, I would forget that she was new, and hadn’t been here before. Would what seemed miraculous now become just commonplace? Would I just nag the tween or teen version of her, “Hurry up…we have to go” or “Pick up your clothes and put them in the hamper?”

When Dan died less than two years after her birth, I would often find myself staring at our bedroom door late at night, imagining what a miracle it would be if, despite being dead, he just walked in through that door. I would go so far as to imagine how I would jump up, drop down to my knees, cry, scream, and hold him so tight. One night while writing about that, I realized that he, just like Audrey as a newborn, his existence, was just as miraculous every day when he was alive. Being here now, being alive is just as miraculous as coming back from the dead.

Each day when I wake up and say good morning to my now newly minted double digit daughter, I try to remember that thought I had when she was lying beside me as a newborn. She, being the hyper aware child that she is, is afraid she’s growing old and things will never be as exciting as they were when she was younger and the whole world was brand new. So, I wrote this song for her birthday to remind her that she is still brand new to me, and to encourage her never to let the world seem old. It’s called “Brand New.” This recording is just me in our dining room, nothing fancy. But I hope it reminds you today of all of the people in your lives, whose very existence is miraculous. May they never become commonplace.

16 thoughts on “Brand New”

  1. Oh Julia, tears are streaming down my face – Thank You for this. My daughter started kindergarten this year and this song resonates deeply.
    Peace to you,

    1. Thank you Aunt Tricia. Many of my FB friends knew me as a singer/songwriter way back when, so that’s why I stated it casually. I just played the guitar and sang it and recorded it on my iPhone.

  2. Such a beautiful song and beautiful voice, Julia! Thanks for sharing the joy of embracing our loves as if they are brand new. I’m hugging my not so little ones tighter today.

  3. Beautiful writing and singing, Julia. My sons are both grown, graduated, married, employed, and out of the house. Check, check, check, check, and check! Still, I love this phase of their lives and of mine. Not exactly brand new when we take the time to catch up with one another, but there is always a fresh story or insight or challenge.

  4. You are exuding true beauty. It’s a wellspring; an effervescence of deep seated joy which is cyphened out through real life trials. As a gem cannot be polished without friction, neither will your abilities and gifts illuminate us without life’s storms. Like gold in the foundry the imperfections are cast aside so the remaining element is seen for its essential beauty.

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