List-making in a Dark Time

by | May 21, 2020 | 3 comments

For any other list-makers out there, I published this on HerStories yesterday.
“”In this time of quarantine, my lists are offering me space outside of the walls of my home, a way of making sense of chaos, a self-imposed structure on structure-less days, and even a way of hope.” Head here to read the full piece. Hope everyone is staying well in these challenging times.


  1. CC

    Julia, I loved this article. I found you through a post in Modern Loss, “Why I told Anne Lamott my husband died.” My husband of 36 years died of a sudden heart attack on March 16th, the day before the entire country shut down. Yes, I want to tell everyone! But, we’re in quarantine, only family and friends know. I have been in my daughter’s home with her, her husband and my 2 year old grandson since then and haven’t seen anyone but them and my son’s family for almost 2 1/2 months. I am heartbroken at the loss of my best friend, my partner, my love. I am homesick for a life that will never be the same. My home was being renovated when my husband died so I can’t go back there, and I don’t think I can emotionally or financially live in our home of 32 years again. Your list making so resonated with me, I’m a planner. A planner of future dinners, gardens, trips, visits with grandchildren, parties, cakes to make, hunts in thrift stores…. Going through a traumatic loss, a loss that already makes me question who I am, who I will be and yet not being able to do almost anything that brings with it muscle memory of who I was is unbearably overwhelming and anxiety provoking. Discovering your writing was a sweet moment on this rainy Memorial Day in Miami, your story gives me hope xo

    • JAC

      Thanks for writing and reading. I’m so sorry for your loss and the secondary losses that come with it- including your home and future plans. Yes- have hope—hope is an anchor for our souls. Thinking of you today! xoxo Julia

  2. Katherine Marcoccia

    This was published on the first birthday I observed just days after kissing my husband goodbye for the last time, leaving the gift of eternity in my heart.

    Thank you for sharing deeply, honestly and hopefully.

    Surviving the pain of losing all the last commenter described. For me, 25 years of love, friendship, family, dreams, work, promises, faith, etc.. has left me searching for hope.

    While I experience God’s faithfulness daily, the pain is so intense, it’s difficult to find the peace my soul longs for. I know that sharing our experiences somehow offers that light that brings a measure of peace.

    Thank you for sharing so beautifully.


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