Everyone’s OK

One of the things I replay in my mind is the phone call I made to my parents to tell them my husband was “apparently” dead- I remember using that word.

They had just gone to Connecticut that day for a mini vacation and had just arrived at the hotel when I reached them.
It was funny because I remember them saying a few days before, if you need anything- we can don’t have to go— or we can always come back- something like that.  You’d been on the European tour almost a week so I was home alone with Audrey.  I replied shortly, “What would I need?  We’re fine.”  
Then I got the phone call a couple of days later.
I don’t remember who I called first- but I think it was them.  Then I went downstairs, knocked on a neighbor’s door but there was no reply- left voicemails with two or three other friends…and waited.  
But you know how when something bad happens, and you have to tell someone- but you don’t want them to think the worst?  So you say, “Everyone’s OK- but…” I just keep remembering how as soon as I was searching for words to tell my parents, I couldn’t say that…but I said, “I’m OK, Audrey’s OK…but… apparently my husband’s dead.”  

1 thought on “Everyone’s OK”

  1. Hi Julia,
    I found your blog through a link of a link. I read a few posts, and just had to go back and read from the beginning. I'm sorry that I have no advice or wise words to share, only that this is all so completely unfair. Your writing is so powerfully moving and raw, that I sat here crying for you and your sweet little girl as I learned your story.
    Thank you for sharing this.

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