I want to tell you a few of the cute things your daughter has been doing the way I would’ve at night when you came home from work or a gig or even if I just spoke to you on the telephone while you were away.
You last saw her at 20 months. She is now two plus almost two months. Her rapid development pushes you further away…so much faster than it would seem if it was just me here. And I realize that this is only the very, very beginning of all you will miss…her entire life.
She wears a different wardrobe than you saw her in (mostly hand-me downs), but she’s still wearing the sneakers we both picked out for her together. On my to-do list though, along with a winter hat and gloves, is a new pair of winter shoes.
Her hair is so much longer than when you left- it’s very pretty.
It feels like she’s been doing it forever now, but I realize you never saw her jump- lift her feet off the ground. When you left she was still doing that pre-jumping thing toddlers do just bending at their knees.
You never heard her speak or say she loves you. She speaks in full sentences now. She picks up the photo of you at the kitchen table sometimes and feeds you or gives you a sip of her milk or water. She also tells you that she loves you.
She loves to sing and has a repertoire of at least ten songs by now. Mary Had a Little Lamb is still a favorite as is Twinkle Little Star, Rain Rain, Go Away, Old MacDonald, and Jesus Loves Me. She insists I sing her about four or five songs each night at bedtime. It used to be one.
The other day when someone who was coming for a visit was late, I wondered where they were aloud and she said, “Maybe they’re stuck in traffic,” which was surprising coming out of a two-year-old’s mouth. In the morning she tells me she likes my pajamas. She tells me her halmonee and halabaji live in “Ko weeeee wa.” Last week while we were having tea (she has a cold), she wanted to clink tea cups and said “Cheers mommy.” You would’ve loved that. She ends all of her sentences lately with “Okay.” “We’ll read that book okay?” “Let’s go for a walk okay?” She also says “No mommy!” or “Stop mommy!” quite a lot lately. She was a beautiful butterfly for Halloween and tells me she wants a blue kangaroo for Christmas. This had been her request for her birthday too but I was unable to find it. Lately she asks me, “What’s going on mommy?” if we’re in a crowded place with lots of other toddlers and it’s kind of crazy. She also says “Goodbye mommy, see you later,” a lot while we’re both in the apartment. She still loves reading and her favorite book is Corduroy right now. She’s insanely good at puzzles- like you- and can already do a 40 piece puzzle at two years old by herself. Her focus amazes me. I remember you just starting to help her with puzzles the Sunday before you left at church. It all began there I think. She loves the ones you gave her from Korea- well, I gave them to her now. We had put them away ’til she was a bit older. What else? She loves putting on her own shoes and is still very independent. She loves mee yook gook soup and rice and keem- and frozen yogurt- just yogurt I freeze, and gummy bunnies.
Oh, I wish you could see her. I stare at her sometimes in disbelief- wondering exactly where she came from. She is so 100% Audrey that it’s hard to even see us in her sometimes, but I look for you. If you were here, I’d show you some recent videos and photos, and I know you’d say, “She’s awesome,” and you’d be right. She is utterly delightful.
That photograph is stunning… evocative… haunting in a way but also just DEAR.
She is just lovely. You should be so proud of all you are doing for her. One day she will cherish the memories you are recording here.