I hear it said a lot that in heaven and particularly on the new heavens and new earth that come only after Christ returns, everything that was lost will be returned and restored. Is is just, like Dostoevsky says, that whatever is revealed will be so great- that all of these earthly sorrows will seem so meager? How I found myself wondering this afternoon- would everything lost be restored?
Because the truth is, what I would like is for Dan to come home on July 23rd, 2010. I would like him to greet his not yet two-year-old daughter with joy. I would like him to see her say her first words and sentences and sing her first songs. I would like to take her on the carousel in Bryant Park for her second birthday as we had planned. And I can only imagine there will be many more moments I will want restored that are still ahead of Audrey and I.
Now I suppose since eternity is just that, we’d have plenty of time to reenact but in a fuller, whole way, the last 50 years of my life…but…will that be how it’s done I wonder? Or will Dan and I be reunited with Audrey when she is an old woman? Because I want Dan to see her as a child. That and that alone seems like restoration to me. I know these thoughts are too high for me, and I will never know the answers until I cross the threshold myself, but I think about them…I think about them.
I too have pondered such questions. What I choose to believe (or aspire to believe, anyway) is that outside of our temporal sphere, something such as a soul's/person's age isn't relevant. It doesn't exist in the way we know it. We will see and recognize each other as beloved entities outside of time and physicality; as pure energy and love. Perhaps our loved ones will take whatever form our memories and imaginations choose. It's impossible to understand what existence detached from time might be like, at leastit is for me, but I feel quite sure this greater "realm" exists in a way we cannot imagine. It is neither a place nor a time. It's not up in the sky; it's immanent. This is when I turn to St. Paul's "through a glass darkly" statement; it seems so true and it carries its own hope.