Family Photograph

by | Oct 29, 2010 | 0 comments

Yesterday I took Audrey to a photography studio to get her picture taken.  I figured she’s newly two still and I didn’t have any great photos.  I thought it would be fun, and I thought I would feel strong- a grieving mother who takes her child for photos.  I also wanted to get in a few of the shots myself- perhaps to assert that yes, this is our family now- but we are still that- a family.

It was more tiring than I thought- changing her wardrobe for a few different looks in between and trying to give her some sustenance to stay happy- cookies and lemonade that I had brought.  I felt like the people who fix up the race car when it pulls in- changing the wheels or whatever they do really quickly…or the people who freshen up boxers in the middle of a fight when they come to the corner of the ring.  I decided that both of these are great analogies for mothering in general.  Because really we’re always nourishing and nurturing to send them back out in the end.  That’s our job.

One thing I wasn’t prepared for was just this: on the drive to the studio, I passed by the funeral home we used for your funeral.  I have never gone there, though you have now.  Your brothers went to deliver your suit and select the casket so I didn’t even know where it was.  The funeral director came to my home to talk to me and the services were all held at a different church- thank God- I hate funeral homes.  But as I drove down this main road- there on the side was that name I’ve come to loathe- the name of the funeral director.  I thought about how many times we must have driven down this road together…the Korean fried chicken place we liked just a bit further down, the string instrument shop nearby where you recently got your cello appraised.

I’m sure we never even noticed this funeral home was there.

Perspective.

JAC

October 29, 2010

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You May Also Like…

List-making in a Dark Time

List-making in a Dark Time

For any other list-makers out there, I published this on HerStories yesterday.""In this time of quarantine, my lists are offering me space outside of the walls of my home, a way of making sense of chaos, a self-imposed structure on structure-less days, and even a way...

Simple Things

Simple Things

"In our deepest self we keep living with the illusion that we will always be the same." Henri Nowen "It's really very simple," my late spiritual director, Gladys, once said to me. She was talking about how she lived each day, waking up, having a written conversation...

Continuous Living

Continuous Living

"Anxiety turns us toward courage, because the other alternative is despair." Paul Tillich I've claimed "seasonal affective disorder" for years, and that may be so, but I'm starting to realize it's not only summer to fall that is hard for me. It's winter to spring, and...