I have a piece in the Washington Post today about my experience being in a small family, a family of two. Thank you, as always, for reading.
So proud to share this one. My beautiful daughter wrote an amazing letter, and they published it in The NY Times today. What would you write to your future self so you don't forget the lessons you've learned in this liminal space? Here's what she had to say: A 12-Year...
Early in the pandemic I started to regret my brief foray into minimalism slightly. I still have a small space and like order, but I can understand now why my grandparents and my parents saved so much. I wrote about it and it's up on The Washington Post's, The Lily,...
For any other list-makers out there, I published this on HerStories yesterday.""In this time of quarantine, my lists are offering me space outside of the walls of my home, a way of making sense of chaos, a self-imposed structure on structure-less days, and even a way...
Thank you for touching my heart… My 12 year old son and I share so much of your journey. His dad passed away suddenly when we were just 9 weeks pregnant and dreams of our family of 6 quickly became a family of 2. I’ve found it a lonely road and loved reading your story… thank you for sharing! ❤💕
Thank you, Michelle. What a long journey you’ve had on your own, and yet-you are not alone. God bless you both!
BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks, Debbie.
Such a heartwarming article. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you.
So lovely in all its simple, deep and unique ways! Thank you Julia for sharing your life with us
As a single mom with 1 child who never dreamt this would be my journey, I recognized that feeling of want. Wanting a partner, wanting the big noisy family, wanting to capture a moment, wanting desperately to never leave my child alone. thank you.
Thanks for reading and sharing. I’m so glad it resonated.
Your article got shared with me by another widow. My wife died less than a day after she gave birth to our daughter, our first. So your article resonated with me as you’ve expressed some of the fears that I have now that I think my family of two will experience in the future especially the part about how there is only two of us to keep our family story. In addition, I feel the added pressure of being the sole bearer of the love story between my wife and I to share with our daughter. Thank you for sharing your story.
It is a lot to bear and mostly hidden and unspoken. I’m sorry for your loss.
I just read your piece in the Washington Post. You got me with the first sentence “I didn’t become a member of a small family by choice. My husband died when my daughter was almost 2, and we became a family of two.” It literally took my breath away. My daughter is 7, and my husband died when she was just 5 months old. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you and your princess much happiness and peace. And, if you’re ever in the Washington DC area, I’ll buy you coffee (or mimosas) and cupcakes for the girls (who am I kidding, I want cupcakes for us too!)
Daisy
Thank you Daisy! I am sorry for your loss. I hope it helps to know you’re not alone. Cupcakes sound good! 🙂
I was you but thru divorce – very different for sure but I agonized about my son not having more family. Agonized is the word. When he was 9 I remarried and had two more children. It was my dream come true. When he was 40 and those two and he were best friends I told him he was the main reason I’d had more children. He was shocked and said “Ma, I was perfectly happy! I was good. Like having them, did miss the one on one, would have been fine either way!” I could see it was true.
Thanks for sharing…I’m sure we do put a lot more pressure on ourselves than necessary.
I read your article in the Washington Post. It was if you were writing about us! My son was 3 when my husband died seven years ago. It’s very isolating because people don’t understand what your life is like, especially when they are very young. But, it wonderful, too. I have this amazing relationship with him because it has been just us. Thank you for your words. They describe it perfectly. I would also love to take you out for coffee and cupcakes in North Carolina if you find yourself here.
You’re right- it really is isolating. I’m so glad so many people are able to recognize themselves here and we all can realize we’re not alone. I’ll keep the cupcake offer in mind!
My sister shared your words with me. Thank you for telling your story and helping me feel more seen and known in the telling. My darling is 12 now, and while her father is living, he is far away and always has been. She and I have entered the Gilmore Girls’ “perfectly scripted banter” season and it is filling in so many of the “spare and deep” places with a wondrous healing power. Still, I leave the kitchen lights on. Thank you, Julia. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thanks for reading and for that highest of complements to a writer and the reason I write- to feel more seen and known and to help others feel more seen and known.
Beautiful article in the WP online today. Just beautiful. I almost didn’t read it, because I am not that into parent/child articles. So glad I didn’t miss it.
Thanks so much…not that into those kinds of articles myself. 🙂
Thank you for sharing Julia. You’re an amazing mom and the bond you have with your daughter is absolutely beautiful! Be hopeful for the future. Sending hugs!
Faith, Hope and Love
Love to you Debbie! I’ve been thinking of you since the 21st.
Thank you for this incredible piece of writing. I struggle so much with the constant desperation inside of my failure to make a “family” for my daughter 46 yr old (solo mom and 11 year daughter here!) and though my circumstances with her father are different than yours, your words encapsulate so many nuances and pictures and exactness of what our special life feels like. I cherish the wonderful fortune I have that I get so much time with my daughter; thank you for your celebration of words. I’ve never cried suck bittersweet tears when reading something,; felt very seen and maybe just for a minute, like it was ok that we are a small family of 2 and that’s enough.