One Death

by | Aug 1, 2010 | 1 comment

I have read on some grieving site or pamphlet that the lost loved one only dies one time- one death, but you, the survivor, relive their death and imagine their final moments over and over again.

I have also read that near drowning survivors report the last few moments before losing consciousness as incredibly peaceful. I want to believe this is true.
I sometimes wonder what I was doing here at home in NJ while your spirit was departing, but mostly I can’t even think of those things. It is too painful.
I do know that the night before I got the phone call- I was missing you a lot more than usual. I sent you an email that just said, “Missing you tonight. Love you. Jul”
A couple of days after I got the phone call and I managed to get into your email, I cried with joy to see that you had opened and read my final words to you.

JAC

August 1, 2010
Dear Audrey
v
1

1 Comment

  1. saltywet
    saltywet on August 23, 2010 at 6:18 am

    this post made me cry.

    i am crying.

    i am so sorry.

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like…

December 17, 2014- A New Blog

It has been almost a year and a half since I last wrote on this blog.  In my mind, this blog was complete.  And yet, there was a lack of finality to it.  Grief has no finality, though it does have evolution and change, while this blog does have finality simply because...

Speed of Light

On the eve of your death I am watching town fireworks the day after the fourth of July. I am overwhelmed by the crowd of families around us on blankets with glo-sticks and cotton candy as we wait for darkness in the still, hot, summer air.  There is a Korean...

Father’s Day 2013

Father’s Day 2013

This is the third time.  It is brutal.I haven't felt it helpful or complex enough to say, "It's not fair; it's just not fair," in the past three years.  But on this day, I think those words a lot. Unless your young child has lost a parent, you cannot imagine...