Notes from Grief Session #1

by | Aug 6, 2010 | 0 comments

My grief counselor, like any good counselor- mostly listened- but I jotted down the few things she said…because I thought they were important:

  • We grieve according to who we are. So if I was a pragmatic person before, I might grieve in a pragmatic way, etc.
  • Grief controls us – we don’t control grief. Let it manage you. Definitely true- and definitely my LEAST favorite thing about all this- as a control freak by nature.
  • Time does not heal, God does. I keep hearing time doesn’t heal this from all of the other widows I speak to or on widow boards. And I know that already. How could time heal the loss of a person? But this is the first time anyone suggested any kind of healing to me.
  • Whatever you need, it will be there. God will bring it. Comforting. So just like I can’t control grief, I don’t have to try to figure everything out or strive for what I think we might need in this overwhelming situation. Just as the grieving jags come, so other things will be provided to comfort or help us. So, I guess I just sit back and go with all this.
It was also helpful that she validated what a strange, shocking death this is and how it will definitely make it harder for me to process. Also confirmed that I am still in shock.

JAC

August 6, 2010
v

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You May Also Like…

December 17, 2014- A New Blog

It has been almost a year and a half since I last wrote on this blog.  In my mind, this blog was complete.  And yet, there was a lack of finality to it.  Grief has no finality, though it does have evolution and change, while this blog does have finality simply because...

Speed of Light

On the eve of your death I am watching town fireworks the day after the fourth of July. I am overwhelmed by the crowd of families around us on blankets with glo-sticks and cotton candy as we wait for darkness in the still, hot, summer air.  There is a Korean...

Father’s Day 2013

Father’s Day 2013

This is the third time.  It is brutal.I haven't felt it helpful or complex enough to say, "It's not fair; it's just not fair," in the past three years.  But on this day, I think those words a lot. Unless your young child has lost a parent, you cannot imagine...