I did a very silly thing just now.
December 17, 2014- A New Blog
It has been almost a year and a half since I last wrote on this blog. In my mind, this blog was complete. And yet, there was a lack of finality to it. Grief has no finality, though it does have evolution and change, while this blog does have finality simply because...
My sister called me using my mom's cell phone. I was at work, and picked up my cell to answer and when I saw "Mom's Cell" and her picture as the incoming call, I just about fell out of my chair.
It wasn't fun…
I emailed my dead grandmother when I found out I got accepted into my doctoral program. I really hoped they had email in heaven.
Nearly six months after my father died, someone began calling my cell phone from the number my father had used. The first time I saw "Dad Cell" come up on my phone, I felt this strange slipping of time, as if the universe was off its axis. Finally, I answered.
"Someone from this number keeps calling me!" the man said.
I never once dialed that number.
After that call, I decided it was time to erase the number from my contacts. It was my father speaking to me, I felt.
It was one of the hardest, saddest things I ever had to do.
I found you from the NY Times. I can't stop reading your blog. Your words offer me some glimpse into what my mother experienced when she lost her husband of 37 years, my dad.
I wish I could reach through the screen and hold you, just hold you and shush you and listen to you.
My prayers are with you and your daughter.