Maybe it was wrong, but I told Audrey a little lie just now.
She’s been giving me such a hard time going to sleep, and not only was I exhausted after coloring, feeding, playing with play dough, cleaning up, and getting her ready for bed- but I have a migraine. Still do.
So, I read her two more books once she was in her crib at her insistence. “Book, book!” She just seems so anxious lately and doesn’t want to me to leave.
I told her I couldn’t sit in the chair all night, and she laughed. Still, if I started to get up, her anxiety was palpable.
I just couldn’t listen to the screaming. I told her I was going to put my pajamas on and would be back, but now she is quietly drifting off to sleep. Well, I did put my pajamas on, and I will be back- tomorrow morning.
It makes me crave a similar cure for my own longings. Dan isn’t coming back from the tour as I’d expected, but I am hoping he will still be back later…and that this anticipation will be enough to let me rest in my own darkness.