Maybe it was wrong, but I told Audrey a little lie just now.

She’s been giving me such a hard time going to sleep, and not only was I exhausted after coloring, feeding, playing with play dough, cleaning up, and getting her ready for bed- but I have a migraine.  Still do.

So, I read her two more books once she was in her crib at her insistence.  “Book, book!” She just seems so anxious lately and doesn’t want to me to leave.

I told her I couldn’t sit in the chair all night, and she laughed.  Still, if I started to get up, her anxiety was palpable.

I just couldn’t listen to the screaming.  I told her I was going to put my pajamas on and would be back, but now she is quietly drifting off to sleep.  Well, I did put my pajamas on, and I will be back- tomorrow morning.

It makes me crave a similar cure for my own longings.  Dan isn’t coming back from the tour as I’d expected, but I am hoping he will still be back later…and that this anticipation will be enough to let me rest in my own darkness.