I think it’s the last song I’ve written. You told me it was your favorite and wanted to record it.

Back then, you were feeling discouraged about music all the time- in your mind you should’ve gone so much further so much sooner. You struggled daily at the 9-5 job where you felt so out of place.

So, I wrote you this song and this morning Audrey brought my guitar to me- and first I played some silly songs I usually play for her- and then decided I felt like playing this one for myself.

It’s funny- the words to the chorus spoke to me so strongly just now- not from me to you anymore- but from you to me as I feel the gulf of time between us- however many years I have left here…and know you are beyond time and space…

I wish I could write you a letter

From the future when everything’s better

I’d tell you how fast all this time is gonna pass

And how these are some of your best days.

Maybe I’d tell you a secret,

Oh, how everything lost, you still keep it.

Oh, the only thing I’d do,

Mail that letter back to you,

To tell you everything will be well.

I remember when I got to that last phrase- and had an empty spot- those last words felt as though they were dropped into my head by God- not something I usually say or think: “Everything will be well,” but now I am hoping it’s true- hoping that you are telling me that now…that all of this- the pain and horror I feel anew this morning- the long long haul I have ahead- that for me and a little girl who misses her appa and has climbed up into his desk chair just now-

everything will be well…