Today I am depleted.The week rounded out with two tantrums- one at the dentist on the day of the Nor'easter (we left the office without having her teeth cleaned after two hours there) - the other, today while I was driving. Each night this week I've dreamt of you....

 A melange of joyful, ash-tinged, ironic moments.Audrey watching a children's program where the day's message is that we don't have to fear when our parents drop us off at school because they'll come back later to get us.  The repeating tune to accompany the...

Who thought death would look like autumn.  I found these words of yours in a songwriting journal right after you died- as I hunted through them for hours looking for some clue as to what had happened- picking one or two for your funeral program.  Now this...

I am continually in awe of how time keeps progressing before my eyes like one of those time-lapse videos.  I wonder to myself often if something in your death changed the very substance of time itself for only me. Even so the loss- still jarring and...

From day one, it's full of contradictions- and the move has been no different.A widow friend warns me that it might feel after we move, as if you disappeared or never existed, because our new life will no longer have a place for you.  Audrey asks if we can call...

I realize it's been almost a month since I've written here.  It's not because there haven't been a torrent of emotions as I packed, moved, and started to unpack and settle in to a new place.  It's because it's been exhausting.  The amount of energy it...