For any other list-makers out there, I published this on HerStories yesterday.""In this time of quarantine, my lists are offering me space outside of the walls of my home, a way of making sense of chaos, a self-imposed structure on structure-less days, and even a way...
![Only parent, only child: An ode to our small family [Washington Post]](https://i0.wp.com/studiesinhope.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/DSC_0924-scaled.jpg?resize=400%2C250&ssl=1)
I have a piece in the Washington Post today about my experience being in a small family, a family of two. Thank you, as always, for reading. You can find the piece here.
![Grief Looks a Lot Like ‘Crazy’ in ‘Dead to Me’ [Modern Loss]](https://i0.wp.com/studiesinhope.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/uploads2Fcard2Fimage2F9799542Ff3fb3179-f7e5-4e2a-bebd-17d666c54fde.jpg2F950x534__filters3Aquality289029.jpg?resize=400%2C250&ssl=1)
IMAGE: SAEED ADYANI / NETFLIX I watched the trailer of "Dead to Me" a few weeks ago while I was scrolling on Netflix as a reward for my morning yoga class. I debated watching it at first because usually loss isn't portrayed very acurately, but I often like to see if...
You are such a gifted writer. I have been following your writing for years. You helped me so much in my early days as a widow raising young children. Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts. Your daughter is truly blessed to have you as her mom.
Thank you, Beth. It means so much to me to feel useful in some way. I’m sure you’ve done an amazing job mothering. I salute you for all the hidden work you’ve done.
Thank you for sharing, Julia.
Here’s what I said in an essay I wrote in the spirit of writing as therapy and for a select few about a personal loss I experienced just over a decade ago: “If only I, a mere mortal, could turn back the hands of time and let that split second pass you and your family by – uneventfully, peacefully.” We, the survivors, are members of a club that no one ever wants to belong to, a fitting reference I’ve seen on more than one occasion, e.g., http://www.aliveinmemory.org/2014/09/27/the-club-nobody-wants-to-belong-to/#.XjEr2sgzbIU
I find the Buddha’s “Five Remembrances” helpful.
I am of the nature to grow old.
There is no way to escape growing old.
I am of the nature to have ill-health.
There is no way to escape having ill-health.
I am of the nature to die.
There is no way to escape death.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to
change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground on which I stand.
Translated by Thích Nhất Hạnh
Also relevant and implicit in some of what you wrote is this powerful quote by Khalil Gibran: “Life is weaker than death, and death is weaker than love.”