The Story

by | Mar 12, 2011 | 3 comments

Dear Audrey,
Tonight something happened that I didn’t think would happen for a few years.

When I was putting you to bed, you were anxious and upset like most nights.  Then you told me you were crying because appa died.  This is not the first time.  You told me you wanted him to come see you.

But then you asked me directly, “Tell me the story.  What happened to him!”  in as demanding and heartbroken a way as an almost 2-1/2 year old can.  You looked me right in the eye, and I could literally feel the pain you must endure having absolutely no idea where your dad disappeared to or why.  Only that he had an accident, got hurt, his body didn’t work anymore- all things I’ve read to use in grief books for children.

We tell a lot of stories around here, so it was interesting to me that you framed it in that way all by yourself.    Yes- this will be part of our story always…yours and mine.

Then I looked at you and told you “it’s very very sad…in a few years when you’re a little bit older.”  You seemed satisfied with that.

JAC

March 12, 2011

3 Comments

  1. Vee

    How heartbreaking. Your little Audrey seems very wise beyond her 2 1/2 years.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    I am sorry that you, and your sweet girl, are going through this….that she has to have such pain at such a young age and that you have to be the one to answer the questions. I am glad she has such a stong Mom, even when you might not feel it, to teach her love, to tell her the story when she is ready to hear and to comfort her when she needs. All my love and hugs.

    Reply
  3. Anne D

    Perfect answer.

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You May Also Like…

List-making in a Dark Time

List-making in a Dark Time

For any other list-makers out there, I published this on HerStories yesterday.""In this time of quarantine, my lists are offering me space outside of the walls of my home, a way of making sense of chaos, a self-imposed structure on structure-less days, and even a way...

Simple Things

Simple Things

"In our deepest self we keep living with the illusion that we will always be the same." Henri Nowen "It's really very simple," my late spiritual director, Gladys, once said to me. She was talking about how she lived each day, waking up, having a written conversation...

Continuous Living

Continuous Living

"Anxiety turns us toward courage, because the other alternative is despair." Paul Tillich I've claimed "seasonal affective disorder" for years, and that may be so, but I'm starting to realize it's not only summer to fall that is hard for me. It's winter to spring, and...