A grieving person is not depressed, though it looks similar.
Fresh air, exercise, chicken soup, or going for a massage, though appreciated and “healthy” will not help to lift it. It is not lift-able.
A grieving person needs kindness and needs to learn to be kind to him or herself. This is something I’ve not been good at most of my life, but I am learning now.
There will be no wise words spoken, though I was wishing there were, that will alleviate the grief- so the best a friend can do is sit with you and cry. They may offer hope. The counselor asked me today what was comforting to me- what I expected of people. I told her a friend who came in the early days and sat with tears in her eyes listening to me saying only “What a loss…” was something I found comforting.
Some have tried to offer these “words of comfort.” Something like this: “You’re lucky to have even met someone and had the chance to love like that.”
I recently found these handwritten words in a sympathy card from someone whom never married. I have decided that people who say these particular words have never truly loved. Because when you truly love someone, it is not a comfort to think that you lost, BUT you loved. You loved AND lost.