Christy came over and bravely took her own toddler and Audrey out for a long walk in a big red wagon.

She also brought me her fairly new floor steamer- purchased based on a late-night infomercial.  I was instructed by her how to use it and to have fun.  “Are you going to do your bathrooms too?”  she asked.  Well, I hadn’t even planned on steaming my floors today- but once I got started…

Plus I got a total jolt from the decaf, yes decaf, Starbucks she brought me.

Things got out of control when I tried the steamer in my half bathroom.  I’ve never looked at the tile floor much- we’re renting and were planning on moving soon.  But after I used the steamer there, I noticed a few little pieces of something on the floor- it looked like the dirty part of the grout was coming right off.  So…I got a toothbrush but then realized I needed something sharper.  I got a screwdriver.  Stuff just started flying everywhere and I really wasn’t sure if it was a layer of dirt/grime- or I was just degrouting my entire bathroom floor.  But once I started- I could not stop.  I had to vacuum two times to pick up all the grout.  Then I re-steamed.  It looks cleaner (though the grout is about 1/2″ narrower), and though I felt like de-grouting more- I was afraid.

It’s funny the things my female friends have done to try to help- very endearing.  Two of my closer friends tried to get me to use their “special, favorite” face washes.  That was in the early days though when I really had no interest.  Christy brought her Korean infomercial floor steamer over.   Another friend came over one day with toys, food, and a big package of paper towels and toilet paper.  “I just grabbed a bunch of random stuff.”

Nothing makes me feel good or better these days, but these things are still worth noting at this point.  Women are amazing creatures.

This post feels lighter than usual- maybe because I am trying to take the advice of a friend who told me since this grieving process is such a long haul- maybe I should take breaks and make sure to have that reprieve if I’m going to make it in the long run.  This is true.  She told me if I have not learned this skill yet- the skill of taking breaks (I clearly have not), that now would be a good time to learn.  This is also true.

So on that note, check this out: http://www.theonion.com/articles/84-million-new-yorkers-suddenly-realize-new-york-c,18003/

If you’ve ever been a New Yorker, you’ll laugh a lot reading it.  I read it this morning and laughed out loud numerous times- which felt really good.  I could hear Dan laughing alongside me.