Everything I read and everyone I know who has suffered this kind of loss says nothing will ever be sweet again. Every beautiful and sweet thing- will be bittersweet- every sunset, joyful occasion or holiday, or even a funny joke that can not be shared with you.
But certainly I am finding the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced, is watching our daughter emerge from infancy into herself. Her language is absolutely exploding Dan- I though the first word or words were the treasure- but really they are just a small foretaste. To hear her speak now- in phrases and sentences at 23 months- she is instantly a miniature person. It is the sweetest thing I’ve ever known. And how I wish I could enjoy the sweetness, but for that very reason, it is also the most bittersweet thing I have ever known.
I want to believe you are watching somehow. If not physically, maybe they have an overflow room over there where you are where they will broadcast for you some of these beautiful moments. I know you would love them so. This morning I was cleaning up the table in the kitchen when she came running in with a pile of diapers saying, “Look, mama, look!” It was as though she had become a character in one of her children’s books- and I was simply in awe to hear my child speak to me like that for the first time. I knelt down to finish picking up the crumbs off the floor with tears in my eyes.