I See You

by | Aug 5, 2010 | 0 comments

…in my mind, I see you. When Audrey and I sit outside on the bench, I keep looking towards the street- and I sit and I see you walking towards us. You’re always wearing your red St. John’s t-shirt- the one that’s still in our hamper right now- and you’re always smiling and so happy to see us. You walk slowly with the walk that is so particular to you.

I remember that walk was the very first thing I loved about you…the first day we met.
We were in that physics classroom in Columbia playing our songs on my guitar and you left to go to the bathroom- and I remember watching your walk- the way you kind of dragged your feet just a little- you reminded me of a little boy.
In my vision, you are slowly walking towards us and I am so happy to see you there- I realize this has all been a mistake- and you’re back. I think you’ll have some crazy story to tell about the mix-up.
But then it’s just me sitting on the bench…in the humid air- you’re not there…but I keep looking for you.

JAC

August 5, 2010
v

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like…

December 17, 2014- A New Blog

It has been almost a year and a half since I last wrote on this blog.  In my mind, this blog was complete.  And yet, there was a lack of finality to it.  Grief has no finality, though it does have evolution and change, while this blog does have finality simply because...

Speed of Light

On the eve of your death I am watching town fireworks the day after the fourth of July. I am overwhelmed by the crowd of families around us on blankets with glo-sticks and cotton candy as we wait for darkness in the still, hot, summer air.  There is a Korean...

Father’s Day 2013

Father’s Day 2013

This is the third time.  It is brutal.I haven't felt it helpful or complex enough to say, "It's not fair; it's just not fair," in the past three years.  But on this day, I think those words a lot. Unless your young child has lost a parent, you cannot imagine...