Do You Remember? 7.21.10

by | Jul 21, 2010 | 0 comments

Our relationship was so complex. The passion it began with morphed into passionate arguments so quickly, but it certainly never dissolved.

Before you left, we were arguing a lot. There was so much tension and so many questions about our future… how would we survive financially, where would we live, could we handle having another baby? I worried about it all. And because you never were the type to appear worried, I imagined if I did not keep shoving it in your face, I would be worrying all alone and you wouldn’t understand how important it was…to keep worrying? Seems ridiculous now.
Amidst one of those heated arguments, complete with sarcastic jokes thrown in that we both stopped to laugh at just a little bit, something stronger was said. I don’t remember who said it or even what it was- but I think it must’ve been you. Something that sounded truly doubtful of my love for you. Something that sounded doubtful of our ability to keep this thing going.
And I stopped and heard my voice saying something that appeared out of context and took me by surprise. Three simple words- annunciated strongly with a pause in between each one. They reached back in time to a 23 year old girl and 22 year old boy and sifted through eleven years of living.


July 21, 2010


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like…

December 17, 2014- A New Blog

It has been almost a year and a half since I last wrote on this blog.  In my mind, this blog was complete.  And yet, there was a lack of finality to it.  Grief has no finality, though it does have evolution and change, while this blog does have finality simply because...

Speed of Light

On the eve of your death I am watching town fireworks the day after the fourth of July. I am overwhelmed by the crowd of families around us on blankets with glo-sticks and cotton candy as we wait for darkness in the still, hot, summer air.  There is a Korean...

Father’s Day 2013

Father’s Day 2013

This is the third time.  It is brutal.I haven't felt it helpful or complex enough to say, "It's not fair; it's just not fair," in the past three years.  But on this day, I think those words a lot. Unless your young child has lost a parent, you cannot imagine...