Tonight Audrey threw up for the first time ever.  I am exhausted.  She isn’t sick, but just suddenly had a meltdown/got overtired and couldn’t calm down.  I’m not sure what triggered it, but it seemed to be the piano- she was playing and then it was time for bed and she just started screaming and crying about the “pi ano.”  I wondered if it had anything to do with the person who used to play it for her, but I can never tell these things having never had a toddler before.

Tomorrow I’m going to try to go to IKEA with my parents and Audrey so I can try to get a few things we need.  We’d never settled in or unpacked a lot here because we were planning on moving, but now that I’m sticking around for a bit, I might as well get a little settled and make things comfortable for Audrey and me.

I’m looking forward to the distraction of IKEA, but it’ll also be so tough.  It’s one of the “places” that we went to quite a bit together since Audrey was born.  It was so much fun- we’d always eat lunch there- share a cup of coffee- and the last time we went as a family I asked you if you wanted a frozen yogurt on the way out.  You hesitated, but you really wanted one- so I stayed with Audrey while you went to get it.  Then we all shared it while sitting on the IKEA couches behind the registers right near the exit.  I will be sad remembering that tomorrow.

I told the counselor today how it seems like dates aren’t quite as important as places for me.  She pointed out that maybe we didn’t have as many traditions for holidays or other dates for a very long time, but we had more time in those places- and yes- I realized she was right.  Those places we frequented together- that was our tradition.

I told her I’d thought about just hitting all of those places- walking all around Manhattan and Brooklyn in one day to just get the pain over with, but I thought it might kill me.  She agreed doing it slowly- one at a time, sounded like a healthier choice.

So tomorrow- IKEA.

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