What She Remembers

Audrey remembers so much Dan.

At 22 months, her language is just exploding, but that doesn’t mean I can always understand what she’s trying to say.  Up until now, I prided myself on that.  To others she’d just be babbling, but I’d say, “Oh, she wants water,” or “Oh, she ‘s asking for the blue ball.”  But now, I feel frustrated because sometimes I just have to say, “I’m sorry honey, I’m not sure what you’re saying.”  Then she does that thing where it’s really like she’s rolling her eyes at me.

But more frustrating is that lately she is speaking of you, and I’m not sure what the memory is that she’s thinking of.

Tonight I was reading her a book about baby animals, and I think it was when we got to a page with a puppy chewing a big brown shoe, that she said “Appa, Appa!” but I wasn’t sure.

Then later, when I was brushing her teeth, it happened again.

“What?  Does Appa do that?” I ask her.

I ask because I am trying to affirm what she’s saying like I always do, but also because I am genuinely curious, hungry for more details and memories of you that aren’t my own…things I might have missed that only she knows.

And only she
will forget.

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