My grief counselor, like any good counselor- mostly listened- but I jotted down the few things she said…because I thought they were important:
- We grieve according to who we are. So if I was a pragmatic person before, I might grieve in a pragmatic way, etc.
- Grief controls us – we don’t control grief. Let it manage you. Definitely true- and definitely my LEAST favorite thing about all this- as a control freak by nature.
- Time does not heal, God does. I keep hearing time doesn’t heal this from all of the other widows I speak to or on widow boards. And I know that already. How could time heal the loss of a person? But this is the first time anyone suggested any kind of healing to me.
- Whatever you need, it will be there. God will bring it. Comforting. So just like I can’t control grief, I don’t have to try to figure everything out or strive for what I think we might need in this overwhelming situation. Just as the grieving jags come, so other things will be provided to comfort or help us. So, I guess I just sit back and go with all this.
It was also helpful that she validated what a strange, shocking death this is and how it will definitely make it harder for me to process. Also confirmed that I am still in shock.