I know consistency is important for children who are grieving, but I am finding it important overall for me too.
Having a friend stay over for a couple of nights was such a gift. Since I’m doing a lot of processing by talking, I was able to progress with her rather than keep repeating myself to new visitors. Also, we were able to set goals for cleaning and other little things and actually do them.
The people who come to care for Audrey on the same days each week is also really helpful. Since I am still quite lost in terms of time and days, it helps me to remember- Oh, Lisa’s here- it must be Tuesday. Or grandma and grandpa are here-so it’s probably Thursday or Friday.
Any mother knows, the importance of consistency and routine doesn’t only apply to grieving children, but all babies and toddlers. I think this is because everything in the world is so entirely new to them- so large and unknown, that it helps just a little to have some idea of what’s coming next. Grieving is a lot like that- like being newborn into a strange world of ocean, moon, and gravity- a world where you’re helpless and must go where the waves take you.